every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
