I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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