his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
