Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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