i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
