Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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