The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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