Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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