I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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