i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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