Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
