i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize