the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
