3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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