I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize