How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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