What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
