Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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