what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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