Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
