Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
