you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize