Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
