I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
