The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
