fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize