we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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