There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
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I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Drunk is not a location!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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