after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
