it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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