My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize