I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize