Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
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Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
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Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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