I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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