is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
