well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
