i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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