Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
