I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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