I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
