Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
