But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
My bed smells like the plague
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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