he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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