cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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