It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
