Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just pee around me
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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