there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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