Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
