She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
