I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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