He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
