my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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