Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I could have mohawked her pubes.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
