Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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