Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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