im six kinds of drunk right now
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
