dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
