Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
