At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
