how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize