I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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