Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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