My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Did I show you my penis last night?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
