I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
