just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
